Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
