now i know why i became what i already was.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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