farters have to be the big spoon...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
