my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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