conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
