Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
