I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
