I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
