Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
