i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
