Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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