For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
my poor anus
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
