I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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