WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Randomize
