My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
