OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
