If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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