What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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