Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
