There is no way he is gay with that hair.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
