Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
