Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
