I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
