babies were throwing up all over the place
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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