What a fucking waste of an outfit
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
