I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
