Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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