We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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