My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I wish I only lived at night.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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