plz talk dirty to me
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
