I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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