Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
