I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
