Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
