exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
