I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
