i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
