Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
