Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
