I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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