Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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