i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
