I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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