I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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