I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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