but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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