; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
