i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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