I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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