Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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