Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
