Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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