There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
